We wear our pain in the lines on our face; the sometimes far-away look in our eye.
White women are quickly becoming the forgotten gender – except, of course, for sex.
Now that we have a black male President, I think white women have the right to rebel; to throw things; to yell, to punch, to say “what the fuck.”
But we won’t. We’ll keep moving ahead the best we can.
You know who we are. Look in our eyes. We are more alive, more free, and more wild than we appear. But we don’t know how to shake off the air of reserve that we’ve been taught to carry for so long.
The most important first step is to acknowledge every level of your being – be a saint, and love her. Be a slut, and love her. Be a professor, a student, a wife, a mother, a dreamer. BE.
The most empowering book I’ve ever read on this subject is Marianne Williamson’s “A Woman’s Worth” – whom obviously gets all credit for the title of this post.
We are all struggling under the weight of something heavy. Live free and support your fellow women.
Have you ever taken on a task that you didn’t think you could handle?
- Maybe you ran a marathon.
- Maybe you started your own business.
- Maybe you signed your first 30-year mortgage.
Remember the initial fear? How am I ever going to do this? How am I ever going to make it work? Remember all of the obstacles you faced? Remember all the questions you had?
And, of course, there were no answers to these questions. But, there you were, in the deep end of the pool, and all you can do is learn to swim or drown.
What does this have to do with Seinfeld? Do you remember the episode where George Castanza (Jason Alexander) and Jerry are sitting in Jerry’s apartment, and George says, “I think that ginger ale at the coffee shop is just Coke and Sprite mixed together. How can I prove it? (a few seconds pass) Ah! Can’t, dammit.”
So many of us do this. We have an idea, a thought, even a revelation. But, just as quickly, we stamp out that fire. We ask “how”. How am I going to do this? And the dream dies.
One of the most crucial mistakes people make is to give up on something before they’ve given themselves a chance to experience it. It takes time. Go easy on yourself. It’s a new process when you ask yourself new questions or try new things. Think about your favorite food. There was a time when you had never tried it. What if, the next time you go to eat something new and hear yourself say “no, I don’t want to try that”. what if that becomes your next favorite food?
Work thru the “how”. To have a dream is to have obstacles. And yet, so many people with a dream stop at the first sign of road blocks. They seem to think it’s a sign “NO! Don’t do this!” But maybe they are misinterpreting the signals. Maybe obstacles are here to show us how badly we want something. As Steve Pressfield writes in “The War of Art” – “the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it”.
Use your obstacles as signposts that you’re on the right track. If you want to know how something works, find out. If you want to know how it feels to follow your dreams, find out. Don’t be like George Castanza and simply say you can’t. Find a way to make it happen. You’ll be glad you did.
Is there anything you might be thinking about now that brings up obstacles? What are you doing (or not doing) about it? I’d love to hear from you.
Imagine I’ve given you a gift. It’s wrapped in a beautiful green box with a large yellow ribbon around it. It’s special, you can feel it. You untie the ribbon, lift the lid, and look inside. What do you see?
Is it that new sweater you’ve always wanted? A new book? A kindle? Could it be keys to a new car that’s parked outside? Look more closely. Go on, you can even reach inside.
That’s odd, you may think. “I don’t feel anything.” Bewildered, you turn the box upside down. Nothing. There is nothing in the box. Oh, you might get upset at first – “what is this, some kind of joke?!?”
But look again. I’ve given you no-thing. I’ve given you space. Space that you can either dismiss or see as the greatest gift that can be given. Then, rather than putting on that new sweater, or holding a new book, you can invite this gift of space inside – inside our head that is over-crowded with thoughts. Try it now. Inhale. Invite the gift of space inside. Pause. Exhale. Release all that you no longer need to hold. Try it again.
The gift of space is more valuable, more precious, and, in our culture, more rare than any thing in this world. It’s yours now.
Is it Fear? Love? Anxiety? Anger? Optimism? Choose one. Describe that emotion. Go ahead and grab a pen and paper.
If that emotion were a person what kind of person would it be? What is it wearing? Describe the environment – what does the air feel like? What do you smell? How do you feel?
If you want to change the way this emotion is affecting your life. Talk with it. Personalize it and have a conversation with it. Why not? This might just work, and you have nothing to lose.